Republican politicians like Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis proudly tout their crusade towards the word “woke” and all issues related to “wokeness.”

However what does “woke” imply? For many who have but to face the existential menace of woke-itude, there are two definitions.

Should you consider in dictionaries, Merriam-Webster defines “woke” as “conscious of and actively attentive to essential info and points (particularly problems with racial and social justice).”

Should you consider dictionaries are a Marxist device and also you help politicians like DeSantis, “woke” means, “Uhh, one thing? Most likely the worst factor possible. Positively a factor that have to be stopped.”

A divisive slang phrase is “woke,” which implies to be alert to social justice.

Making individuals take into consideration issues sounds ouchie

For instance, say I’m a white man – which I’m – who has to go to a compulsory variety coaching session at my job. In that session, I’m knowledgeable that sexism and gender discrimination are actual and that America’s lengthy historical past of racism continues to negatively affect Black individuals.

If I’ve to view the world by means of a lens apart from my very own, there’s an opportunity I’ll begin to consider issues in a different way or have emotions.

How is that truthful?

Ideological mobs have us operating scared. Time to stand up for ourselves.

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Don’t fret, DeSantis is on the case

In Florida, DeSantis is combating the great combat towards regardless of the phrase “woke” means. He not too long ago signed a not-at-all-ridiculous-sounding regulation, the Stop WOKE Act. However earlier than all wokeness may very well be stopped, a federal choose leaned on the First Amendment – the woke-ist a part of the U.S. Structure – to dam the state from imposing a part of the regulation.

Are you able to consider that? Now wokeness is raging unabated all through the nice state of Florida, in all probability.

Do not make nonmarginalized individuals like me really feel dangerous

The choose wrote that the regulation, which bars firms and colleges from instructing variety or historical past in a manner that may unfairly make nonmarginalized individuals like me really feel uncomfortable, violates the First Modification and consists of “a unadorned viewpoint-based regulation on speech.”

Actually Florida? A 16-year-old is mature enough to have a baby but not an abortion?

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis

That’s ridiculous. Sure, the regulation makes an attempt to control different factors of view in workplaces or colleges, however there’s no must carry the phrase “bare” into the dialogue. That feels like wokeism.

The First Modification turned ‘the other way up’

In his ruling blocking Florida from imposing the Cease WOKE Act because it applies to firms, U.S. District Courtroom Decide Mark E. Walker wrote that Florida had turned “the First Modification the other way up” and is making an attempt to win an argument “by muzzling its opponents.”

That appears completely unreasonable. All of the regulation is making an attempt to do is bar discussions of racism or sexism that may make white dudes like me really feel “guilt, anguish, or different types of psychological misery.” Haven’t we not suffered sufficient?

The Churchill of the battle on woke

The excellent news is that this authorized setback isn’t stopping DeSantis. He made his perception within the battle on woke abundantly clear at a speech on Saturday: “We should combat the woke in our colleges. We should combat the woke in our companies. We should combat the woke in authorities companies. We will by no means, ever give up to woke ideology.”

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Feb. 24, 2022, in Orlando.

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on the Conservative Political Motion Convention on Feb. 24, 2022, in Orlando.

It was just like the governor and doable GOP presidential candidate was channeling Winston Churchill, if Churchill had the charisma of a evenly buzzed mortician and was solely frightened that the Nazis may attain England’s shores and educate British kids that racism is a factor that exists.

Think about the random acts of wokeness to come back in Florida

My concern, and I’m certain the concern dealing with many Floridians proper now, is that whereas the Cease WOKE Act is halted, harmful acts of wokeness will get away throughout the state.

One can think about the tragic information stories within the coming weeks:

►A 52-year-old Osceola County man was pay attention in good situation Thursday after he handed out from listening to a gaggle of woke-wielding social justice warriors focus on the gender pay hole in his firm’s break room.

►A white, 15-year-old Cocoa Seashore Excessive College scholar was identified with “acute wokeness-instigated nausea” Tuesday following a historical past class during which the trainer advised racism in America didn’t finish when slavery was abolished.

Protesters rally against critical race theory in Leesburg, Va., on June 12, 2021.

Protesters rally towards essential race concept in Leesburg, Va., on June 12, 2021.

►Following a compulsory office coaching seminar on inclusivity, a 43-year-old lady from Kissimmee collapsed upon studying that homosexual persons are actual and was rushed to the closest Emergency Wokeness Publicity Heart, the place she was revived by previous episodes of Pat Robertson’s “The 700 Membership.”

That’s the type of dystopian world woke ideologues need us to dwell in, one the place “understanding” others is “good,” and the place individuals who “can’t keep in mind the previous” are “doomed to repeat it.”

There can be no pondering on my watch


It’s time to open your eyes and get up to wokeness, individuals. That is battle. And step one towards victory comes by closing your eyes and never being awake.

Extra satire and humor columns from Rex Huppke:

A defense of Domino’s Pizza, which Italy has rudely rejected. More for me, please.

‘Defund the FBI’: Trump supporters calmly react to Mar-a-Lago search

Is ‘wokeness’ responsible for US and European heat waves? Absolutely.

Comply with USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Twitter @RexHuppke and Fb:

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This text initially appeared on USA TODAY: Ron DeSantis declares war on work, even as Stop WOKE Act is halted

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