Halsey is reflecting on the final decade of their life.

Per week earlier than the “With out Me” singer is ready to rejoice their 28th birthday, they penned a message on social media, admitting that—regardless of their peak of fame—they too really feel unhappy and lonely at occasions.

“I discover that always there’s a deep sadness inside me that no quantity of worldly pleasure can contact, a loneliness, an vacancy,” the singer wrote on their Instagram Tales Sept. 21. “I’m wondering usually if I selected the incorrect life for myself. And the load of it’s suffocating. I am sorry that melancholy has penetrated my artwork in a method that hasn’t served a better objective aside from my very own self loathing.”

Halsey then wrote that as they method their birthday, they’re “simply now exhaling and gasping for air for the primary time since I took a single breath on this new life at 18.” 

They continued, “I’m wandering lawlessly and I hope to seek out my method someplace significant quickly in order that I can provide the guys I’ve at all times identified to scoop heapings of into your ears. They’re shriveling these days. Should you can’t be form, no less than be mild. With love.”

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